Farewell 2015, Hello 2016

(If you don't feel like reading everything, just read the end. That's where the real message lies)

 
Each time the year ticks over people world wide take stock in their lives. What have they accomplished? What have they seen?
Some people also make resolutions for the year to come. Some will swear to diet, others to be kind, and others to give up habits that have plagued them for years.

I am no different than most people.
So, let's reflect on 2015.

The start of the year brought about pain and sadness. Most days I still feel the aftershocks of the loss of a dear friend. I still her her saying, with a laugh behind her words, "Oh Irate" the way she did when something awesome, fun, kind, or funny happened.
I also lost my Great Aunt Franny. She was, along with her sisters and their families, a big part of my childhood. She was also my mother's Godmother, so you can imagine how Mum took it.

As a community and world we cope with losses every day. In 2015 I learned I could remember, love, forgive, and move forward with my grief. This also meant I could finally handle losses of long ago. Grieving never ends, but rather it becomes a part of us. The loss of friends and family is not ever 'left behind' or forgotten, it becomes a part of every day living. We carry memories, and we look to the future.

I was part of the start of an amazing program. The New Hampshire Junior Roller Derby is thriving to this day, and I am sad I cannot make it to help with their training. Those young women are amazing, talented, and I cannot wait to see them all succeed. I hope to make it back to them sooner rather than later. I miss training with them.

Hardships returned not long after; I also almost lost my mother. From a young age I can remember her putting off taking care of herself. Then it was because she had three kids to raise, now it is because she is stubborn. She wound up intubated and in the ICU for a month due to respiratory failure.
She eventually came out the other side, we woke her slowly, she started breathing on her own again, and started rehab.

With that, I took a trip with the All Stars to Idaho!
We lost. We lost a lot. We had a blast doing it, though. We fought for every inch, and never made it easy. I learned how to be a part f a losing team and how to truly lose with grace. That's important. Now, as a team, we are looking for those wins and we are more determined than ever.

When we landed in Boston after our trip, and I found out my mother was transported to Boston Medical Center, and was headed back to the ICU. She spent the next two months recovering, she went to rehab near home. I'm happy to say she is home now working on staying out of the hospital.

The rest of the year was, thankfully, only full of derby and happy times. We went on a great vacation (which I forgot to post pictures for, my bad). We played in our LARP. We said farewell to our longtime roommate, Seamus. We had a new roommate, KAOS, move in. I ran my second Mudderella. We celebrated Halloween with friends. We laughed often, and loved life. We had a good Xmas with family, and tonight we will be surrounded by friends and family to ring in the year to come.

Looking back I think 2015, while full of losses, was also full of growth and love.

With that I say this: I do not make resolutions. I try every day to be a better person. I have been working on letting go of old hurts, forgiving, and the appropriate release/directions of anger. I have been working on these for a while now, and none of them are easy. It's a work that will likely never end, but I am willing to keep at it.

Be good to each other world. Things can change without warning. It can be good, or bad. Tell someone you love them, forgive, and don't be afraid. Tomorrow the dawn will come.

Anything can happen tomorrow.