Weird Lessons in Roller Derby

There are a million lessons to be learned when you are doing Roller Derby. Sometimes someone helps you with these valuable tid-bits, and other times you have to learn for yourself and learn the hard way.

Here are some things I learned the hard way.

Clear pee for victory!
Not sure you are hydrated enough? Well, one sure way to know is if you are peeing clear. On game day, or hell any day, you should keep yourself well hydrated. This helps keep energy up and you will find you can go for longer, faster, jams.
In the same line of thinking, pee before you hit the track and at half time. Seriously, go to the bathroom! New studies have come out talking about how the body reacts to over-hydration (hyponatremi), so just go pee!
Again, same vein: poop before a game. It sounds funny, maybe it is gross for you to talk about, but seriously... poop. You'll just feel better.

Speaking of poop.....
Every hotel has a "Poop Bathroom".
Speaking of travel, everybody poops. If you did not pack your Poo-Pourri, that's fine. Be kind to your roommates, though. use the bathroom in the hotel lobby or restaurant. Sure, the other patrons will be upset by the foulness that is your butt, but the people you are with will thank you.

Trim your fingernails
When you get into serious blocking you are always touching, pushing and grabbing your blocker buddies. Nothing sucks like the sting of sweat dropping into fresh scratches on your arms and shoulders.

Say farewell!
No, really. Be open and honest with your friends, family and yourself! Derby is a time commitment. Most people do not realize just how time consuming roller derby can be. they think "Oh, I can skate, go to school, see my kids, and work". Well, you can do those things, but not in the capacity you want. I am not saying you have to give up everything you previously loved for this new sport, but you will find that you need to schedule things more closely and more often. You can do it (I did it! I had a blog post about it, but is vanished... meh).

You are gross.
No, seriously. You are going to get intimate with how you smell after a tough practice. And dude, let me tell you... yes, that is you. It's okay, though... your teammates are gross too. That is what they invented showers, and baby wipes for (pack baby wipes/body wipes for travel games).

You fart in your sleep, and so does your teammate.
When you travel for away games you will wind up cuddled with your teammates. Guess what, you may be grossed out that they fart in their sleep, but so do you. Farts happen.

Someone on your team skates commando!
Not kidding. There is a teammate, I won't tell you which one, that is not wearing underwear.

Toenails grow back.
If you have ill fitted skates, or you just caught a wheel in the worst way, you might lose a toenail. It's a drawn out process and it sucks. I lost both big toenails after one tournament. But, the upside is that they grow back. You'll live, and your feet will not fall off.

There you have them, some weird little derby lessons. You'll learn some more as you go, but this should get you started.

Good luck out there!