Yes Virginia, There is Life After Roller Derby
VIRGINIA, your derby friends are wrong. They have been affected and infected by a sport that takes hold of you, your very soul, and holds on to you. They do not see outside of the track. They think all things over the crash zone line are incomprehensible, and impossible. In this great universe of ours, there is more than the skates on your feet, and the helmet on your head.
Yes VIRGINIA, there is life after roller derby. It exists as certainly as does that place you lay out your gear when it is wet, sweaty and gross (that is called your house). Alas, how dreary the world would be should this life not exist. How dreary the world would be if there were no VIRGINAS, those broken and battered bodies, men women and more, who saw something fantastic and heard sounds beyond the drone of the in house announcer saying their name. The eternal light of vacation, lost or forgotten talents, and a straight/pain free spine would be gone were it not for the life outside.
Not to believe in life after roller derby! You might as well not believe in a full nights sleep! You might get your partner (the person you may have not seen much recently) to watch the door or news feeds to see the retirees of our beloved sport living a life without bruises and uneven butt cheeks. But, if they saw none, what would that prove? The most real thing is to go out in to the world and live a life of living and love. Nobody can see these retirees, we blend in to the background. Sure, there might be a little evidence (a tattoo, surgical scar) but to the layman these would seem standard in today's world.
"You may tear apart a baby's rattle to see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongestman person, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men people that ever lived, could tear apart." Faith, fancy, poetry, lost talent, new tattoos, friends and family lost in the shuffle of schedules and games and travel for more games, they are all there waiting for you beyond that curtain of roller derby.
No life after roller derby! Thank goodness this is not the truth. A thousand years from now, there will be athletes looking into the blackness of the possibility of not skating, and I am here to tell them and to tell you; there is and will always be, life after roller derby.
----------
I went from an average of three practices a week, three hours each, just skating, and an average 20 hours a week regular/not so regular derby work outside of practice, to nothing. These numbers do not include cross training hours, or work outside what I was 'supposed' to do for my former league.
The 100 MPH to zero in 60 seconds was what hit the hardest. I found myself wandering my home and wondering "When did I move in here?"
I skated for almost 10 whole years. My 10th anniversary would have been last December (2017). I didn't quite make it, and that is okay.
Well, it is okay now.
Life after derby, while freeing in it's own way, is a bit of a struggle. Everyone has their ways to cope with not being quite as active, not seeing their derby family any longer (at all sometimes) and staying home those nights you would normally be at practice. I can only speak for myself when it comes to these changes, these events that make all the difference. Here are some of the things I have started seeing, living, and loving:
*I am home for dinner. I realized was that I was eating less peanut butter and banana sandwiches, in my car, while driving to practice, after I stopped skating. I also noticed I was home, and at about 6pm I was standing in my kitchen thinking "Aren't I supposed to be going somewhere?" I would stand there with a blank look on my face, staring at the wheat bread, and trying to decide what dinner is supposed to really look like. It was about 3 months later my kitchen and I rekindled our love affair, and I started really cooking again. Hell, I made a damn fine Yule Dinner for friends this year!
*I also remembered that I had a partner! It's true! I remembered that I was married, and had this whole shared life with another person. At first we would blankly stare at each other wondering "Who the hell is this jerk that is in my house?!" But, once memory was restored, we started hanging out again and going on adventures together. We celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in 2017. We did it without Derby interfering! Weird!
The fun part about remembering the Mister is that we are looking for new adventures to have together. New places to travel, new experiences to have, and we are going to do it together! In fact, there are already adventures in the works for 2018.
*Through the year I also found I still had talents in other places. I picked up my pencils and started drawing. Not as much as I would like, but some. I also picked up my Ukulele and am actually *GASP* getting better! Crazy!
*I also got some fancy new ink. Yay Tattoos! Fun fact, it is hard to get new ink when you are playing roller derby. Why? You are always rubbing shoulders or other parts with sweaty folks, and bumping and more. That can lead to all sorts of terrible problems when it comes to tattoos.
*More recently than all of this, I found myself just going to the gym for me. Not because I 'have to' but because I want to! I want to lift heavy, and be fit, and do it all for me and me alone. Selfish, right? No, not really.
*On the more serious side, I started to take real stock of myself and my mental health. I am happier now. Less angry over nothing. All of this is because I finally broke and said "I need help". I saw a doctor (two), and began taking a medication that has truly, honestly, helped me come out of the dark. I am a better, happier, calmer (though still fiery and slightly angry) me.
So, do I miss roller derby?
Fuck yeah I do. I miss my friends. I miss the team. I miss the game.
But, is there life after roller derby?
You bet there is. And it's a hell of a life, indeed.
Yes VIRGINIA, there is life after roller derby. It exists as certainly as does that place you lay out your gear when it is wet, sweaty and gross (that is called your house). Alas, how dreary the world would be should this life not exist. How dreary the world would be if there were no VIRGINAS, those broken and battered bodies, men women and more, who saw something fantastic and heard sounds beyond the drone of the in house announcer saying their name. The eternal light of vacation, lost or forgotten talents, and a straight/pain free spine would be gone were it not for the life outside.
Not to believe in life after roller derby! You might as well not believe in a full nights sleep! You might get your partner (the person you may have not seen much recently) to watch the door or news feeds to see the retirees of our beloved sport living a life without bruises and uneven butt cheeks. But, if they saw none, what would that prove? The most real thing is to go out in to the world and live a life of living and love. Nobody can see these retirees, we blend in to the background. Sure, there might be a little evidence (a tattoo, surgical scar) but to the layman these would seem standard in today's world.
"You may tear apart a baby's rattle to see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest
No life after roller derby! Thank goodness this is not the truth. A thousand years from now, there will be athletes looking into the blackness of the possibility of not skating, and I am here to tell them and to tell you; there is and will always be, life after roller derby.
----------
I went from an average of three practices a week, three hours each, just skating, and an average 20 hours a week regular/not so regular derby work outside of practice, to nothing. These numbers do not include cross training hours, or work outside what I was 'supposed' to do for my former league.
The 100 MPH to zero in 60 seconds was what hit the hardest. I found myself wandering my home and wondering "When did I move in here?"
I skated for almost 10 whole years. My 10th anniversary would have been last December (2017). I didn't quite make it, and that is okay.
Well, it is okay now.
Life after derby, while freeing in it's own way, is a bit of a struggle. Everyone has their ways to cope with not being quite as active, not seeing their derby family any longer (at all sometimes) and staying home those nights you would normally be at practice. I can only speak for myself when it comes to these changes, these events that make all the difference. Here are some of the things I have started seeing, living, and loving:
*I am home for dinner. I realized was that I was eating less peanut butter and banana sandwiches, in my car, while driving to practice, after I stopped skating. I also noticed I was home, and at about 6pm I was standing in my kitchen thinking "Aren't I supposed to be going somewhere?" I would stand there with a blank look on my face, staring at the wheat bread, and trying to decide what dinner is supposed to really look like. It was about 3 months later my kitchen and I rekindled our love affair, and I started really cooking again. Hell, I made a damn fine Yule Dinner for friends this year!
*I also remembered that I had a partner! It's true! I remembered that I was married, and had this whole shared life with another person. At first we would blankly stare at each other wondering "Who the hell is this jerk that is in my house?!" But, once memory was restored, we started hanging out again and going on adventures together. We celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in 2017. We did it without Derby interfering! Weird!
*Through the year I also found I still had talents in other places. I picked up my pencils and started drawing. Not as much as I would like, but some. I also picked up my Ukulele and am actually *GASP* getting better! Crazy!
*I also got some fancy new ink. Yay Tattoos! Fun fact, it is hard to get new ink when you are playing roller derby. Why? You are always rubbing shoulders or other parts with sweaty folks, and bumping and more. That can lead to all sorts of terrible problems when it comes to tattoos.
*More recently than all of this, I found myself just going to the gym for me. Not because I 'have to' but because I want to! I want to lift heavy, and be fit, and do it all for me and me alone. Selfish, right? No, not really.
*On the more serious side, I started to take real stock of myself and my mental health. I am happier now. Less angry over nothing. All of this is because I finally broke and said "I need help". I saw a doctor (two), and began taking a medication that has truly, honestly, helped me come out of the dark. I am a better, happier, calmer (though still fiery and slightly angry) me.
So, do I miss roller derby?
Fuck yeah I do. I miss my friends. I miss the team. I miss the game.
But, is there life after roller derby?
You bet there is. And it's a hell of a life, indeed.
 |
| I hope to see more of this life from the back of my lovely new-to-me bike! Say hello to Severus! |
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